


this™ was™ a™ mistake™

by Via13



Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Gen, I am so sorry, all jisung wanted was a nice peaceful gc, daehwi knows too much, daniel's dandelion hair on that one stage, everyone else: ha, everyone is a little shit, guanlin is too precious, jaehwan and daehwis fights are so petty, jinyoung is that one guy eating popcorn while the wars unfold, minhyun is fucking SAVAGE, plenty of memes to come, rip jihoon, so is daehwi, the english speakers club is formed and disbanded in the space of five minutes, theres swearing bc jisung gave up on them, this is why we cant have nice things
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-05
Updated: 2018-07-06
Packaged: 2019-05-18 17:02:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14856695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Via13/pseuds/Via13
Summary: in which jisung creates a group chat for all of wanna one and deeply regrets it after about 30 seconds.





	1. this is non english speaker discrimination

**Author's Note:**

> henlo im sorry in advance for this,,, also i could be updating my bts gc fic muscle pig, but im lazy af and ive wanted to write about my fetus bois wanna one,,,, so here we are. idk how frequently ill update this but it sure aint gonna be regular or often. sorry lmao
> 
> cast--  
> jisung = sigh  
> sungwoon = queen  
> minhyun: angel  
> seongwoo = take ong me  
> jaehwan = hyena  
> daniel = dandelion  
> jihoon = winky face  
> woojin = snaggletooth  
> jinyoung = baejin  
> daehwi = englisher #1  
> guanlin = englisher #2

 

 **jisung** added **sungwoon, minhyun, seongwoo, jaehwan, daniel, jihoon, woojin, jinyoung, daehwi,** and **guanlin** to the chat. 

 

 **jisung:** hello children

 

 **sungwoon:** why

 

 **minhyun:** What is this? 

 

 **jisung:** wtf where are the other 7 children

 

 **seongwoo:** minhyun its a fucking group chat

 

 **minhyun:** Post the fuck up, Ong.

 

 **jisung:** gUYS LANGUAGE THERE ARE CHILDREN

 

 **seongwoo:** OUTSIDE THE DORM IN 10 MIN PRETTY BOI LETS FUCKIN GO

 **seongwoo:** wait one sec i have an idea

 

 **seongwoo** is now **take ong me.**  

 

 **take ong me:**  OK NOW LETS GO

 

 **jihoon:** in what universe was this a good idea

 

 **jisung:** we've been a group for like half a year and we dont have a gc

 **jisung:** i had to fix that

 

 **daehwi:** """"fix""""

 

 **jisung:** shhhhh

 

 **jaehwan:** let me leave

 

 **jisung:** rule #1: no one leaves

 

 **jaehwan:** try me bitch

 **jaehwan** left the chat.

 **jisung** added **jaehwan** to the chat.

 

 **jaehwan:** BITCH

 

 **jisung:** :))))

 

 **jihoon:** where r the rest of the maknaes im lonely

 

 **daehwi:** i feel very ignored?? rude??

 

 **jihoon:** shut up daehwi

 

 **daehwi:** this is bullying

 

 **take ong me:** wheres guanlin

 

 **guanlin:** I'm pretending this chat is all good and pure

 

 **jisung:** damn he dragged u guys

 

 **guanlin:** Mostly directed at Jisung hyung for creating it

 

 **jisung:** i

 

 **daehwi:** YEET

 

 **minhyun:** Is Daniel dead?

 

 **daniel:** unfortunately not

 

 **daehwi:** a whole mood

 

 **jihoon:** honestly

 

 **take ong me:** mINYHUN WHERE TF ARE U 

 

 **minhyun:**  I’ll pay someone to fight Ong for me.

 

 **jihoon:** no

 

 **jihoon** is now  **winky face.**  

 

 **winky face:** ;)

 

 **minhyun:** Don't?

 

 **winky face:** fight me

 

 **daniel:** im 19 u fight me

 

 **winky face:** I MIGHT ACTUALLY

 **winky face:** GO AWAY IT WAS ONE TIME

 

 **daniel** is now **dandelion.**

 

 **dandelion:** WHO THE FUCK WANNA DIE

 

 **guanlin:** I'm sorry

 

 **dandelion:** and now i cant be mad bc its fucking guanlin

 

 **guanlin:** Thanks

 

 **jisung:** DANIEL WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE 

 **jisung:** JESUS CHRIST

 

 **dandelion:** no

 

 **minhyun:** It's a bit late for that

 

 **jisung:** i give up

 

 **jinyoung:** i was about to deck jisung hyung for spamming me 6346736 times but turns out it was you fuckers

 **jinyoung:** why am i in this

 

 **jisung:** how fucking dare u try to deck me u little shit

 **jisung:** HECCK i broke my own rule

 

 **jaehwan:** "hecck"

 

 **daehwi:** congratulations u played urself

 

 **jisung:** go away

 

 **jinyoung:** i love hyung/dongsaeng feuds

 

 **jinyoung** is now **baejin.**  

 

 **baejin:** whomstdve

 

 **dandelion:** me too

 

 **daehwi:** lmao

 

 **minhyun:** This chat has existed for literally 20 minutes, and it's already a disaster

 

 **winky face:** am i the only one concerned that seongwoo hyung hasnt said a word in like 10 min

 

 **minhyun:** I kicked his ass

 

 **take ong me:** i heard my name

 **take ong me:** and minhyun didnt kick my ass

 **take ong me:** we kicked each others asses

 

 **minhyun:** That still qualifies as me kicking your ass

 

 **daehwi:** the kicking of ass was reciprocated

 

 **jaehwan:** stop using big words pls and thanks

 

 **daehwi:** ur brain is just too small to handle em huh

 

 **winky face:** JJSJDJSDJH

 

 **jaehwan:** FUCKING BRAT

 **jaehwan:** ILL GET YOU

 **jaehwan:** BITCHY ENGLISHER

 

 **daehwi:** thanks

 **daehwi** is now **englisher** **#1**.

 

 **englisher** **#1** : WHO DID THAt

 

 **jaehwan:** :)))))

 

 **take ong me:** JJSJSJSh

 

 **jaehwan** is now **hyena.**

 

 **hyena:** DAEHWI U ABSOLUTE FUCKINF. 

 **hyena:** bITCHASS

 

 **englisher** **#1** : i love revenge 

 

 **hyena:** square up

 

 **jisung:** sigh

 **jisung:** all i wanted was a nice gc for us all to discuss music and the occasional meme

 **jisung:** my plan's backfired

 

 **baejin:** what did you expect from us, a dysfunctional 11 member group of colossal idiots 

 

 **woojin:** ^

 

 **take ong me:** honestly

 

 **dandelion:**  oh look snaggletooth is alive

 

 **woojin:** still alive n kickin

 

 **woojin** is now **snaggletooth.**

 

 **snaggletooth:** bOI

 

 **winky face:**  why u sound like an 102-yr old man

 

 **woojin:**  fuck off assbag

 

 **hyena:** assbag

 

 **englisher** **#1** : assbag

 

 **take ong me:** assbag

 

 **jisung:** can we not go 1 minute without swearing

 **jisung:** protect whats still good and pure in this world

 **jisung:** namely guanlin

 

 **guanlin:** Thanks I guess?

 

 **jisung:** precious

 **jisung:** also stop typing in english its giving me a migraine trying to figure out what ur saying

 

 **englisher** # **1** : no no guanlin keep typign in enlgish, none of them can understand it

 

 **minhyun:** ... You do know I'm fluent in English, too, right?

 

 **englisher #1:** he joins the englishers club

 

 **guanlin:** Cool

 

 **hyena:** fuck u guys

 

 **jisung:** secrets secrets are no fun

 

 **snaggletooth:** unless u share em with everyone

 

 **englisher** # **1** : dont?? 

 

 **minhyun:** Never resurrect that cursed song again

 

 **jisung:** fuck off

 

 **englisher** # **1** : so its official then

 

 **dandelion:** ???

 

 **englisher** # **1** : me, guanlin and minhyun hyung are officially the englisher trio

 

 **guanlin:** Yay

 

 **guanlin** is now **englisher** **#2**.

 **minhyun** is now **englisher** **#3**.

 

 **englisher** # **3** : Actually, I changed my mind

 **englisher** # **3** : I will die of migraines if I’m in a trio with Daehwi

 

 **englisher** # **1** : hEY  

 

 **englisher** # **3** is now **angel.**

 

 **dandelion:** this is non-english speaker discrimination

 

 **jisung:** yeah thats rude

 

 **baejin:** bullying

 **baejin:** daehwi we are no longer friends

 

 **englisher** # **1** : wait n o

 

 **hyena:** oh so baejin is worth disbanding the englisher trio but the rest of us arent

 **hyena:** thats rude 

 

 **angel:** I love betrayal in our 11 member family

 

 **baejin:** i feel so loved 

 

 **englisher** # **1** : <3

 

 **baejin:** <3

 

 **dandelion:** gross

 

 **englisher** # **2** : They're cute why hyung

 

 **englisher** # **1** : go away dandelion

 

 **dandelion:** asshat

 

 **take ong me:** disband the englisher trio

 **take ong me:** or war shall be waged

 

 **snaggletooth:** how long did it take u to think of that

 

 **take ong me:** 30 minutes

 **take ong me:**  hEY

 **take ong me:** FUCK U

 

 **jisung:** i made a mistake creating this chat

 

 **jisung** is now **sigh.**

 

 **sigh:** i cant even complain

 

 **sungwoon:** what the fuck did i miss holy shit

 **sungwoon:** a guy cant take a power nap and not have his phone spazzing out from 83274 messages jfc

 

 **sungwoon** is now **queen.**

 

 **queen:** ill get back at you fuckers for making the fbi agent in my phone have a fucking breakdown


	2. what the hap is fuckening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> more memery and petty ass fights, featuring svt's woozi and josh bc why the fuck not

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cast is the same,,,, and im pretty sure you'll figure out which one is woozi and which is joshua
> 
> cast--  
> jisung = sigh  
> sungwoon = queen  
> minhyun: angel  
> seongwoo = take ong me  
> jaehwan = hyena  
> daniel = dandelion  
> jihoon = winky face  
> woojin = snaggletooth  
> jinyoung = baejin  
> daehwi = englisher #1/for sale  
> guanlin = englisher #2/guanlin

**dandelion:** DAEHWI ACTUALLY SQUARE TF UP

 

 **englisher** # **1** : NO FUCK U

 

 **dandelion:** BB ITFCH

 

 **englisher** # **1** : i ALREADY SAID SORRYING BITCHASS HYUNG

 

 **hyena:** sorrying

 

 **englisher** # **1** : begone THOT

 

 **hyena:** rude ? im ur hyung u disrespectful fuck

 

 **dandelion:** DAEHWI IM TELLING UR MOM

 

 **englisher** # **1** : literally u dont even know my mom

 

 **dandelion:** I HVAE HER NUMBER BITCH

 

 **englisher** # **1** : WAHT HOW

 **englisher** # **1** : leAVE MY MOM ALONE

 

 **dandelion:** :))))))))

 

 **angel:** What is happening?

 

 **dandelion:** DAEHWI STOLE MY PHONE AND PUT LIVE WALLPAPERS ON IT OF BUGS

 **dandelion:** TAHT  ASSBUCKET KNOWS I HATE BUGS

 

 **englisher** # **1** : i SAID SORRY

 **englisher** # **1** : dONT CALL ME AN ASSBUCKET ASSBUCKET

 

 **dandelion:** soRRY DOESNT CUT IT

 **dandelion:** IVE BEEN TRAUMATIZED

 

 **baejin:** what the hap is fuckening

 

 **englisher** # **1** : scroll up

 

 **sigh:** can i not sleep wihtout my phone going off every half second

 

 **angel:** Literally just mute it, hyung?

 

 **sigh:** shut ur mouth

 

 **englisher** # **3** : Why are you guys like this

 

 **winky face:** the overarching question of this entire group

 

 **angel:** ^

 

 **take ong me:** good morning 

 

 **queen:** its literally 2pm

 

 **take ong me:** ill reiterate

 **take ong me:** GOOD MORNING

 

 **queen:** understandable

 

 **baejin:** thats a mood

 

 **snaggletooth:** jesus fucking chrIST 

 

 **angel:** SPEAKING OF JESUS

 **angel:** I HAVE A FRIEND TO ADD.

 

 **angel** added **jisoos christ** to the chat.

 

 **jisoos christ:** minhyun what the fuck

 

 **angel:** Jesus has spoken, everyone

 

 **dandelion:** oh hello

 

 **jisoos christ:** so whomst the fuck is everyone

 

 **winky face:** im jihoon !!!

 

 **jisoos christ:** you're a nice jihoon, that's good

 

 **snaggletooth:** thats fake news, our jihoon is a brat

 

 **dandelion:** i can vouch for this statement

 

 **winky face:** shut up u sausage and dandelion

 

 **snaggletooth:** **pink sausage smh

 

 **dandelion:** no

 

 **winky face:** fuck outta here

 

 **snaggletooth:** @ jisoos christ see what i mean

 

 **jisoos christ:**  well,,,, our jihoon just threw a shoe at me

 **jisoos christ:** twice

 

 **winky face:** I WANNA MEET UR JIHOON

 **winky face:** wait is he a hyung to us

 

 **jisoos christ:**  he’s ‘96

 

 **winky face:** HELLO JIHOON HYUNG MY NAME IS ALSO JIHOON

 

 **angel:** Can I just make this easier and

 

 **angel** added **woozi**  to the chat.

 

 **woozi:** what

 **woozi:** minhyun hyung???

 

 **angel:** Yes hello, you've been added to this hell chat

 **angel:** Our Jihoon wants to meet you.

 

 **winky face:** hELLO

 

 **woozi:** oh

 **woozi:** hi

 

 **jisoos christ:** god jihoon at least be nice

 

 **woozi:** go away jisoo i was being nice

 

 **jisoos christ:** sure

 **jisoos christ:** by the way i'm still a hyung to you, you absolute gremlin

 

 **woozi:** i have plenty of other shoes ready to throw at you

 **woozi:** h y u n g

 

 **queen:** i can physically feel the sarcasm

 

 **woozi:** thanks

 

 **jisoos christ:** ANYWAY that's seventeen's jihoon

 

 **winky face:** NICE

 

 **woozi:**  jisoo don't do it

 **woozi:** j i s o o  h y u n g

 

 **dandelion:** ??

 

 **sigh:** what whats happening

 

 **woozi:** he's doing it

 

 **jisoos christ:** **_AJU_** **_NICE_**

 

 **woozi:** shoes incoming

 

 **jisoos christ:** FUCK

 **jisoos christ:** GOTTA BLAST

 

 **baejin:** what the fuck just happened

 

 **dandelion:** aju nice ???

 

 **woozi:** it's one of our songs

 **woozi:** jisoo hyung yells "aju nice" whenever he hears either of those words

 **woozi:** it's really annoying

 

 **jisoos christ:** SHUT THE FUCK UP WOZI

 

 **englisher** # **1** : i dont touch my phone for an hour or so 

 **englisher** # **1** : and i open the chat to this

 **englisher** # **1** : whomst is woozi (hyung?) and jisoos christ

 

 **jisoos christ:** i'm joshua/jisoo hong,,, the jesus of seventeen

 

 **woozi:** lee jihoon of svt, and i am currently flinging shoes at jisoo hyung

 **woozi:** one of the world's saddest things is me having to call him hyung

 

 **jisoos christ:** SHUT YOUR MOUTH PIPSQUEAK

 

 **winky face:** wa ht

 

 **woozi:** jisoo hyung i swear to god if you tell them

 

 **jisoos christ:** CHILDREN  & THE TWO WHO ARE OLDER THAN ME

 **jisoos christ:** I HAVE IMPORTANT INFO

 **jisoos christ:**  JIHOON’S GONNA MURDER ME FOR THIS BUT

 **jisoos christ:** HE'S TINY

 **jisoos christ:** 5'5" A WHOLE 164 CM

 

 **woozi:** say goodbye to your kneecaps, asshole

 

 **jisoos christ:**  F CUK HES HCOMGN

 

 **englisher** # **1** : g a y ?

 

 **sigh:** daehwi n o

 

 **englisher** #1: daehwi YES

 

 **snaggletooth:**  if daehwi dies i call dibs on his plushies 

 

 **englisher** #1: hEY BITCH DONT TOUCH THOSE

 

 **woozi:** even though i have no clue who you are, englisher #1, you're next on my hitlist

 

 **dandelion:** i like him

 

 **take ong me:** ^

 

 **woozi:** thanks

 

 **englisher** # **1** : fukc im sorry

 **englisher** # **1** : (no im not)

 

 **angel:** (You know he can still read that, right?)

 

 **englisher** # **1** : (yes im already accepting death)

 

 **woozi:** ...

 **woozi:** minhyun hyung who is he

 

 **angel:** lee daehwi

 

 **woozi:** alright then daehwi

 **woozi:** you're on my hitlist after the late jisoo hyung and mingyu

 

 **jisoos christ:** I'M NOT DEAD YOU FUCKING GARDEN GNOME

 

 **woozi:** sometimes i can still hear his voice

 

 **jisoos** **christ** : U FUVKING GREMLIN I HATE YOU

 

 **englisher** # **1** : i like you hyung but at the same time ive developed a very real, very terrifying fear of you in the 5 minutes youve been here

 

 **woozi:** i'll take that as a compliment

 

 **take ong me:** daehwi's a fucking brat

 **take ong me:** dont fall for his cute tricks

 

 **englisher** # **1** : aw hyung called me cute

 

 **take ong me:**  literally die

 

 **englisher** # **1** : love you too hyung uwu

 

 **sigh:** just so you know, woozi, daehwi's up for adoption

 

 **englisher** # **1** : waIT WAHT

 **englisher** # **1** : HYUGN

 

 **englisher** # **1** is now **for sale.**

 

 **for sale** : WHOMST THE FUCK

 

 **woozi:** we have 13 members

 **woozi:** we really don't want or need any more

 **woozi:** but thanks for the offer

 

 **jisoos christ:** i want him

 

 **for sale** : <3 someone loves me

 

 **jisoos christ:** <3

 

 **for sale** : <3

 

 **jisoos christ:** <3

 

 **woozi:** gross

 

 **sigh:** i like him

 

 **woozi:** does someone want to take joshua hyung

 **woozi:** please

 **woozi:** you get a free daehwi along with your purchase

 

 **jisoos christ:** fuck you woozi

 

 **for sale** : :(

 

 **woozi:** :)

 

 **take ong me:**  what the fuck is actually happening

 

 **angel:** I made the mistake of adding Woozi and Joshua into this chat

 **angel:** That's pretty much it

 

 **woozi:**  good, we agree that adding us to this hell chat was a bad idea

 

 **jisoos christ:** we're no longer friends, minhyun

 

 **angel:** Oh no, whatever shall I do?

 

 **jisoos christ:** i hate you

 

 **angel:**  Jihoon, throw more shoes at him

 

 **woozi:** i'm out of shoes, but i did find tennis balls

 

 **jisoos christ:** FUCK

 **jisoos christ:** MINHYUNGNFDNB

 

 **angel:** :D

 

 **englisher** # **3** : Even after I take a nap this is still happening

 **englisher** # **3** : Why

 

 **englisher** # **3** is now **guanlin.**

 

 **guanlin:** I've been meaning to change that

 **guanlin:** Oh now everyone goes quiet

 **guanlin:** Thanks guys

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i would buy daehwi no questions asked
> 
> drop a comment or kudos if u liked it?
> 
> ALSO WANNA ONE'S COMEBACK I'M STILL FUCKING SHOOK !!! THE NEW ALBUM IS AMAZING!!!


	3. FUCK ME SIDEWAYS WITH A SLICE OF CHEESE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> guanlin: What in the heck did I miss
> 
> daehwiii: jihoon hyung being a walnut
> 
> guanlin: So nothing out of the ordinary then

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok uhhhhhhhhhhhhh i should have updated like a month ago but like?? school ended and i have No motivation to do anything but watch kpop cracks on youtube and stream the fuck outta ly:tear and ddu-du-ddu-du. 
> 
> pls accept this long as fuck chapter, featuring a certain someone who jihoon cannot handle~ 
> 
> cast changes!! 
> 
> jisung = sigh  
> sungwoon = queen  
> minhyun: angel  
> seongwoo = take ong me  
> jaehwan = hyena  
> daniel = dandelion  
> jihoon = winky face/(well,,,,, let's keep this a surprise for the very end)  
> woojin = snaggletooth  
> jinyoung = baejin  
> daehwi = for sale/daehwiii  
> guanlin = guanlin

**dandelion:** JIHOON YA DIDDLY DARN DONE FUCKED UP 

 

 **winky face:** SHUT UP YOU CAT

 

 **for sale:** cat

 

 **winky face:** that offer to sell u is still up for grabs

 

 **for sale:** ;( this is bullyign

 

 **snaggletooth:** feels bad man

 

 **sigh:** so what happened

 

 **winky face:** we DONT NEED TO DISCUSS

 

 **dandelion:** OH LET ME FUCKING TELL YA HYUNG

 

 **baejin:** i smelled the tea from a mile away

 

 **winky face:** begone THOT

 

 **baejin:** THEN L E A V E BITCH

 

 **dandelion:** OH SHTI SSJSSJSSJSJS

 

 **winky face:** SHGHHH FUCK OFF BOTH OF YOu

 

 **guanlin:** What's happening now

 

 **take ong me:** I HEARD TEA IM HERE

 

 **snaggletooth:** me

 

 **winky face:** literally fuck all of you

 

 **snaggletooth:** ur not my type thanks

 

 **angel:** Daniel dropped his phone on his face and squealed

 

 **dandelion:** ok first of all FUCK OFF HYUGN U SAW AND HEARD NOTHIGN

 **dandelion:** second of all HERES THE TEA

 

 **winky face:** hyugn i  will fuckign jeojang u in ur sleep

 

 **dandelion:** oh no im so scared of ur aegyo

 

 **sigh:** in this case, jeojang translates to "ill drop kick you out the window"

 

 **for sale:** i can back htis up, he aint playing bc fun fact once i put hot sauce in his ramen

 **for sale:** and when he found out it was me he actually held me over the balcony ledge

 

 **take ong me:** HE SPRAYED ME WITHA  FUCKIN HOSE WHEN I TOLD HIM HE HAD CHOCOLATE ON HIS FACE

 

 **snaggletooth:** he tried to push me off the top bunk and actually beat me in strength

 

 **winky face:** i aint fuckin around w yall

 

 **queen:** sorry i dont speak texan

 

 **winky face:** hush hush hoe

 

 **queen:** RUDE

 

 **sigh:** i really need to mute this chat

 

 **snaggletooth:** i cant leave for a whole minute without yall spamming like its the fuckking apocalypse

 

 **take ong me:** a mood

 

 **queen:** youre part of why

 

 **take ong me:** fuckign rude im jurt

 

 **winky face:** jurt

 

 **dandelion:** DONT TRY ESCAPING THIS YOU FUCKIG GNOME

 

 **guanlin:** That's the best insult you could give him?

 

 **winky face:** go away treelin

 

 **guanlin:**  I can and will vault clear over your head

 

 **winky face:** irrelevant

 

 **snaggletooth:** DANIEL HYUGN HURRY THE FCK UP I DONT HAVE ALL DAY

 

 **dandelion:** wtf yes u do it's an off day

 

 **snaggletooth:** stop using logic on my memes you fuck

 

 **dandelion:** heres the tea bitches

 **dandelion:** so yall obviously kno of our dear jihoonies massive gay ass fanboy crush on a CERTAIN SOMEONE

 

 **winky face:** WHOSE NAME SHALL NOT BE MENTIONED IN THIS CHAT

 

 **dandelion:** i think the fuck not swety

 

 **for sale:** swety

 

 **dandelion:** LET ME SPILL THE GOD DAMN TEA YOU FUCKING MOLDY SOCKS

 

 **baejin:** his insults get more creative every time

 

 **dandelion:** JIHOON WAS SKYPIGN WITH BTS' JIN

 **dandelion:** AND OUTTA NOWHERE

 **dandelion:**  TAEHYUNG SHOWED UP AND JOINED THE VIDEO CALL

 

 **winky face:** i have the perfect plan for dandelion hyungs murder

 

 **snaggletooth:** oh my god

 

 **dandelion:** AND THIS WHIPPED IDIOT DEADASS WENT

 **dandelion:** "OH HI TAE HYUNGIE U HAVE A GOD DAMN BEAUTIFUL ASS"

 **dandelion:** jin hyung laughed so hard he fell on his side and knocked the camera over 

 

 **winky face:** oi euigeon hyung

 

 **take ong me:** damn jihoon bringign out the deadnames

 

 **for sale:** get urself a mans like jihoon hyugn

 

 **snaggletooth:** god damn?? whatta man???

 

 **baejin** : ara naneun good man

 

 **snaggletooth** : ur the only one i love nd respect in this house

 

 **baejin** : i got u 

 

 **queen:**  we stan park jihoon in this house !

 

 **dandelion:** fuck off ??

 

 **queen:** no??

 

 **sigh:** ive made many, many mistakes in life

 **sigh:** one of the biggest was creating htis chat

 

 **snaggletooth:** lmao

 

 **dandelion:** ANYWAY THATS NOT WHER IIT ENDS

 **dandelion:**  TAEHYUNG WHEEZED REALLY LOUDLY AND DEADASS FUCKGN WENT "WHY ARE YOU CALLING MY ASS BEAUTIFUL WHEN MY FACE IS UP HERE YA FUCK"

 **dandelion:** JIHOON SCRE E C HED

 

 **snaggletooth:** oh so thats what that screaming was about

 

 **winky face:** i was considering letting u off with a simple drop kick

 **winky face:** but now it's escalated to a slow torture

 

 **baejin:** what the fuck are you okay 

 

 **take ong me:** i

 

 **dandelion:** how bout u fucks stop interrupting and LET ME FINISH BC THE LAST PART IS G O L D 

 

 **guanlin:** That promo ain't slick hyung

 

 **dandelion:** s hsh h hh shh hh

 

 **for sale:** ssjsds he fuckin called u out

 

 **dandelion:** ANYWAY JIHOON THTE RESIDENT DUMBASS SAI D "WELL DAMN UR FACE BE BEAUTIFUL TOO IM UR BIGGEST FAN"

 

 **winky face:** the "the resident dumbass" part IS SILETNT

 

 **dandelion:** and AFTER THA T JIHOON SAID "WAIT SHIT THAT WAS NOT SUPPSED TO COME OUT ME MOUTH FUCK ME SIDEWASYS WITH A SLICE OF CHEESE"

 

 **baejin:** i cant breat he

 

 **snaggletooth:**   _fuck me sideways with a slice of cheese_

 

 **queen:** W H EE E ZE

 

 **for sale:** oh my FUCKI   NJ g  od J I HO    O N

 

 **winky face:** loOK HAVE YOU SEEN TEH MAN  THERES NO WAY I CAN SPEAK PROPERLY IN HIS GODLY PRESENCE

 

 **sigh:** there's your confirmation daniel

 

 **dandelion:** I BEEN KNEW

 

 **snaggletooth:** everyone has??

 

 **dandelion:**  stfu let me have this

 

 **queen:** OH suddenly i have an idea BRB BITCHES

 

 **for sale:** fear

 

 **queen:**  SHUT

 

 **sungwoonie** is now chatting with **chimchim.**

 

 **sungwoonie:** hey hey jiminie!!

 

 **chimchim:** ayye sungwoonie hyung!! it's been ages wtf i thot u forgot abt me

 

 **sungwoonie:** lmao sorry we've been busy as fuck w the new album n all

 **sungwoonie:**  I WOULDN'T FORGET U SMH

 

 **chimchim:** the new album!! is so gooD!!! 

 **chimchim:** that's a God Damn Relief 

 

 **sungwoonie:**  sjshsjs aw thanks

 **sungwoonie:** jimjams i got a favor to ask of u

 

 **chimchim:** sure, what's up?

 

 **sungwoonie:** what's taehyung's contact? i need it for a certain,,,

 **sungwoonie:** ,,experiment,,,,

 

 **chimchim:** sounds fake but ok

 **chimchim:** it's gucciboi

 

 **sungwoonie:**  literally im not even surprised

 **sungwoonie:** thank u 

 

 **chimchim:** lmao yw

 **chimchim:** ho boy taetae needs help

 **chimchim:** taetae got a $1000 check once and blew it all on gucci not even 15 minutes later

 **chimchim:** down to the p e n n y

 

 **sungwoonie:** of course he did dsjsjsj

 **sungwoonie:** anyway THANKS B ILY

 

 **chimchim:** lmao ily 2

 **chimchim:** talk to me more often!! i am in Need of someone to rant to about a certain maknae

 

 **sungwoonie:** anytime!! pls i need tea and blackmail material on that kid

 **sungwoonie:** HEY WAIT jeongguk still hasnt given back my red sweatshirt

 

 **chimchim:** yea uh about that

 **chimchim:**  guk read that over my shoulder and h i s s e d and said "aw hell no" and dipped the fuck outta dance practice

 **chimchim:** im bouta drop kick his ass

 

 **sungwoonie:** tell him half of it's from me

 **sungwoonie:** and tell him to GIVE MY DAMN SWEATSHIRT BACK MY OTHER ONES JUST ARENT THE SAME

 

 **chimchim:** jshjshsjhs i will

 

 **sungwoonie:** k gtg the other 10 dipshits are spammign me again

 

 **chimchim:** bye~ 

 **chimchim:** ALSO STREAM FAKE LOVE + THE REST OF LY TEAR

 **chimchim:** PLS HEL P US

 

 **sungwoonie:** @ that promo actually same

 **sungwoonie:** bye chim!!

 

 **chimchim:** bye sungwoonie hyung!!

 

* * *

 

 **queen:** im back bitches

 

 **winky face:** no one missed u

 

 **queen:** alright ok fuck you

 **queen:** im about to do everyone here except u a huge ass favor so

 

 **snaggletooth:** oh my god

 

 **dandelion:** hyung did you actually

 

 **queen:** i did

 

 **take ong me:** i am confusion??? 

 

 **sigh:** america eXPLAIN

 

 **angel:** @@@@ America

 

 **baejin:** w he eze

 

 **queen:** anyway wheres the other idk 7 fuckers

 **queen:** everyone gotta be here for this

 

 **for sale:** henlo

 **for sale:** i cant believe no ones tried to keep me from beign sold

 

 **for sale** is now **daehwiii.**

 

 **daehwiii:** thanks baejin

 

 **baejin:** yw

 

 **dandelion:** im here obvs

 

 **angel:**  I never knew :0 what a startling revelation!!!

 

 **dandelion:**  stOp shading me 

 

 **snaggletooth:** im here

 

 **guanlin:** I'm here

 

 **sigh:** present

 

 **take ong me:** hereee

 

 **winky** **face** : i feel like this is gonna be b a d

 

 **queen:** @ jaehwan are u dead

 

 **hyena:**  god i wish

 

 **baejin:** mood

 

 **hyena:** ive been trying to take a god damn nap

 **hyena:** and u fucks spammed so much why

 **hyena:** anyways whats goingn on

 

 **queen:** youll see

 **queen:** IS EVERYONE READY

 

 **winky face:** hyung this had better not be bad

 

 **queen:** oh no it's great actually

 

 **queen** added **gucciboi** to the chat.

 

 **winky face:** SUNGWOSNS HYUGN

 

 **queen:** yes sweetie? :)

 

 **winky face:** CHOKE

 

 **gucciboi:** what the fuck did i just witness

 

 **sigh:** sungwoon did you not even explain what this was to him

 

 **queen:** there was no need

 

 **gucciboi:** that is, word for word, the EXACT SAME THING JEONGGUK SAID TO ME WHEN TALKING ABOUT OUR CHOREO

 

 **queen:** sounds like him

 **queen:** TELL HIM TO GIVE ME MY RED SWEATSHIRT NON E OF THE OTHER ONES FEEL THE SAME

 

 **gucciboi:** no problem hyung!

 

 **dandelion:** i thot everyone would like to know that jihoon is typing so furiously hes going to break his phone

 

 **winky face:**  oh!! hello tae hyung!! ignore my stupid fuckass hyungs who CLEARLY PLOTTED THIS TO ATTACK ME

 

 **gucciboi:** lmao

 **gucciboi:** WAIT

 **gucciboi:**  @ WINKY FACE ARE YOU THAT KID WHO CALLED MY ASS BEAUTIFUL AND THEN SAID "FUCK ME SIDEWAYS WITH A SLICE OF CHEESE"

 

 **winky face:** UFCK FVJDHFSJKFDGHJBSDHJHBJSFDSGHBVFGHSBJBGHBFEHSB

 

 **hyena:** translation: yes

 

 **gucciboi:**  OHYMGOD

 **gucciboi:** THAT WAS THE MOST I C O N I C THING ANYONE HAS EVER SAID TO ME

 

 **dandelion:** yaint offended ?

 

 **gucciboi:** first of all

 **gucciboi:** y a i n t

 **gucciboi:** second of all

 **gucciboi:** why would i be offended?? that was the funniest fucking thing i've ever heard in my entire 22 year lifespan

 

 **winky face:** sjdhJSDHJHJG

 **winky face:** SORRY HYUGN JSUT IM JUST A FAN AND YOURE LIKE NOT WEIRDED OUT THAT I SAID FUCK ME SIDEWAYS WITH A SLICE OF CHEESE TO U

 

 **gucciboi:** jin hyung got a side cramp from laughiNG

 **gucciboi:** WHY'D YOU SEND IT AGAIN I STARTED LAUGHING AND ALMOST CHOKED ON A GRAPE

 

 **winky face:** PLEASE DONT DIE I CANT BE RESPONSIBLE FOR MY ROLE MODELS DEATH

 

 **daehwiii:** IM

 

 **baejin:** oh my fucking god jihoon hyung CHILL

 

 **guanlin:** Oh hello

 

 **gucciboi:** henlo

 

 **guanlin:** Jihoon hyung's your biggest fan

 

 **winky face:** GUANLIN

 

 **sigh:**  Taehyung, i am so sorry for these massive idiots

 

 **snaggletooth:**  rude

 

 **gucciboi:** lmao don't say that, you guys are hilarious

 

 **baejin:** henlo

 

 **daehwiii:** henlooo

 

 **baejin:** dont fucking one up me, "for sale"

 

 **daehwiii:** in the wise words of seongwoo hyung, "im jurt"

 

 **take ong me:** let me live

 

 **gucciboi:** good evening to you guys too

 **gucciboi:** probably bad timing to ask this but uhhh whomst the fuck is everyone?

 **gucciboi:** i got winky face as jihoon aka "fuck me sideways with a slice of cheese guy" and queen as sungwoon hyung

 

 **winky face:** HSDHSGHF

 

 **gucciboi:**  wait what the fuck, how many of you guys ARE THERE

 

 **daehwiii:** like 389

 

 **baejin:** ok no it's 11 don't listen to him

 

 **gucciboi:** jesus christ

 **gucciboi:** yall could rival seventeen

 

 **angel:** We had quite an experience with two of them a couple days ago, actually. I'll pm you screenshots

 **angel:** Also, hello, fellow 95er, I'm Minhyun. I'm also part of Nu'est

 

 **gucciboi:** o fuck yeah hellooo

 **gucciboi** : aYE I LOVE NUEST WHERE YALL BEEN?? PLEDIS’ BASEMENT?

 

 **angel** : God, Dongho and Minki spam me DAILY asking to bail them out 

 

 **gucciboi** : understandable,

 

 **snaggletooth:**  hello im woojin

 **snaggletooth:** stop promoting urself minhyun hyung oh my god

 

 **angel:** Make me, bitch

 

 **gucciboi:** wh e e ze 

 

 **daehwiii:** so im daehwi 

 

 **baejin:** im jinyoung but for some fuck all reason everyone calls me baejin

 

 **gucciboi:** neato

 

 **queen:** did you really say neato

 

 **gucciboi:** i retract my message

 

 **dandelion:** i can see jihoon physically restraining himself from typing

 

 **gucciboi:** i'm assuming you're daniel??

 

 **dandelion:** bingo

 

 **queen:** daniel

 

 **dandelion:** im sorry

 **dandelion:** yes i am daniel 

 

 **gucciboi:** lmao i only know you because i saw a video of that one stage where your hair was everywhere but down

 

 **winky face:** HAH

 

 **dandelion:**  FUCK YOU JIHOON (not u taehyung hyung, ur great)

 

 **winky face:** fUCCK

 **winky face:** let me delete myself from existence @ god

 

 **gucciboi:** mood (also aw shit, thanks daniel lmao)

 **gucciboi:**  jihoonie, y'know you can act normal, i really don't care lmao

 **gucciboi:** like seriously don't freak out, i feel bad ;;

 

 **winky face:** sh i t you call ed mme ji hoo nie im w eak

 **winky face:** ok ill. try but cant promise anythign

 

 **queen:** i knew this was a good idea

 

 **winky face:** you fucking s n a k e hyugn

 

 **gucciboi:** @ sungwoon hyung, add me into this chat more often, this is so entertaining

 **gucciboi:** this way, i don't have to put up with hoseok hyung's dank ass memes

 **gucciboi:** and jin hyung's fuck awful dad jokes

 

 **queen:** u got it

 

 **guanlin:** What in the heck did I miss

 

 **daehwiii:** jihoon hyung being a walnut

 

 **guanlin:** So nothing out of the ordinary then

 

 **winky face:** takes one to know one bitch

 **winky face:** also fuck you guanlin

 

 **guanlin:** I am too young 

 

 **baejin:**  guys s  t  o  p

 

 **snaggletooth:** guys is no one worried that its like 2am

 

 **sigh:** i was going to say so but gave up

 

 **gucciboi:** aw shit i gotta go

 **gucciboi:** someone's calling me whomst the fuck

 **gucciboi:** oh it's jimin ok

 **gucciboi:** well, nice meeting you guys! 

 **gucciboi:** also, jihoon, can i do something

 

 **winky face:** ANYTHIGN

 **winky face:** wait shit that cam e out wrong

 

 **gucciboi:** lmaO

 

 **winky face** is now **FUCK ME SIDEWAYS WITH** **A SLICE OF CHEESE.**

 **gucciboi** left the chat.

 

 **FUCK ME SIDEWAYS WITH A**   **SLICE OF CHEESE** **:** IM THROWING MYSELF INTO THE FUCKINF OCEAN BYE 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> good night it's 3am and i woke up at 6am today i want to die
> 
> thanks for reading! leave a comment/kudos if u liked it?? kinda keeps me going
> 
> and!! feel free to suggest funny ideas!! ill credit ofc~ ily all
> 
> k i just had a Vision of jaehwans laugh but on a hyena. it's time for me to go to bed


End file.
